Crafting a captivating scene is one of the most crucial aspects of novel writing. A well-executed scene invites readers into your narrative world, engaging their senses and emotions while propelling the story forward. As writers, we often grapple with how to bring these scenes to life in ways that resonate with our readers. That’s where writing clear descriptions in novels comes into play.
Before diving into the step-by-step guide, it’s important to note that long descriptions are unnecessary. You do not need to take a whole page to describe a setting. Short, impactful descriptions can go a long way. For example, the longest addition in the steps below was two sentences.
So, let’s unpack each of these aspects and see how we can apply them to transform a scene.
Sample Scene:
John stood in Grand Central Station. A man bumped into him, making him almost spill his hot coffee.
Suddenly, the chime rang out, marking the arrival of the 12:15 train. He turned his gaze towards the passengers disembarking.
His breath caught when he found her.
“Maggie!” he called out, waving his hand. He saw her head turn. But as he waved, his grip slipped, and he dropped his coffee.
“Oh, John, always the klutz,” Maggie said.
“Sorry, Maggie,” he replied, his voice shaking slightly. He picked up the cup.
Without another word, he pulled out a box. He asked, “Maggie, will you marry me?”
A gasp sounded through the crowd, and time seemed to stand still.
“Yes!” She put her arms around him. The cheers of the crowd were drowned out by the rush of love that moved over them.
Ground Your Readers: Establish the Setting
Your narrative needs to ground your reader in a physical space. The setting, or where your characters are, is crucial in removing the white room syndrome. When the area around the characters is not described, the reader can only picture an empty space, a white room. So make it clear where your characters are, whether that may be a bustling city, a tranquil countryside, or a spaceship cruising through the cosmos.
In the first revision, you should enrich your descriptions with specific details about the location, its characteristics, or significant landmarks. Remember, the goal is to make the setting a living, breathing entity that complements your characters and the unfolding narrative.
Here is a revision of the sample scene that establishes the setting:
Revision:
John stood in the heart of the bustling Grand Central Station, the vaulted ceilings soaring above him. A man bumped into him, making him almost spill his hot coffee.
Suddenly, the chime rang out, marking the arrival of the 12:15 train. He turned his gaze towards the passengers disembarking from the dull black train.
His breath caught when he found her.
“Maggie!” he called out, waving his hand. He saw her head turn. But as he waved, his grip slipped, and he dropped his coffee.
“Oh, John, always the klutz,” Maggie said.
“Sorry, Maggie,” he replied, his voice shaking slightly. He picked up the cup.
Without another word, he pulled out a box. He asked, “Maggie, will you marry me?”
A gasp sounded through the crowd, and time seemed to stand still.
“Yes!” She put her arms around him. The cheers of the crowd were drowned out by the rush of love that moved over them.
The Art of Pause: Describing Setting Amid Action
Balancing action and description is an art. Often, in the heat of action, we forget to ground the reader in the setting. Create a brief pause in your scene where the reader can absorb their surroundings. This pause doesn’t have to be a full stop. It can be a character taking in the scenery or an event that requires the characters to engage with their surroundings. These pauses help to make the setting tangible and enhance the readers’ experience.
Here is a revision of the sample scene that establishes that pauses the action to add description:
Revision:
John stood in the heart of the bustling Grand Central Station, the vaulted ceilings soaring above him. A man bumped into him, making him almost spill his hot coffee.
Suddenly, the chime of the station’s old clock tower rang out, marking the arrival of the 12:15 train. He turned his gaze towards the passengers disembarking from the dull black train.
His breath caught when he found her.
“Maggie!” he called out, waving his hand. He saw her head turn. But as he waved, his grip slipped, and he dropped his coffee. People stopped to avoid the spilled coffee.
“Oh, John, always the klutz,” Maggie said. The crowd that had momentarily paused resumed their rush.
“Sorry, Maggie,” he replied, his voice shaking slightly. He picked up the cup.
Without another word, he pulled out a small velvet box. The sight of the diamond ring nestled within seemed to hold the station at a standstill. He asked, “Maggie, will you marry me?”
A gasp sounded through the crowd, and time seemed to stand still.
“Yes!” She put her arms around him. The cheers of the crowd were drowned out by the rush of love that moved over them.
First Impressions Count: Character Introduction and Description
When a character makes their first appearance, the reader forms an initial impression that is likely to stick. Make this count by offering a description that captures the essence of your character. This doesn’t mean you need to detail every physical attribute; instead, focus on a few distinctive features or traits that can give your readers a solid sense of who the character is. This could include their physical appearance, attire, habitual expression, or repeated action.
Here is a revision of the sample scene that describes characters when they first appear in the scene:
Revision:
John stood in the heart of the bustling Grand Central Station, the vaulted ceilings soaring above him. A man in a well-tailored suit bumped into him, making him almost spill his hot coffee.
Suddenly, the chime of the station’s old clock tower rang out, marking the arrival of the 12:15 train. He turned his gaze towards the passengers disembarking from the dull black train.
His breath caught when he found her—a woman draped in a striking red trench coat that set her apart from the sea of monochromatic attire. Her dark hair was pulled back into a neat bun, revealing the sharp cut of her cheekbones.
“Maggie!” he called out, waving his hand. He saw her head turn. But as he waved, his grip slipped, and he dropped his coffee. People stopped to avoid the spilled coffee.
“Oh, John, always the klutz,” Maggie said. The crowd that had momentarily paused resumed their rush.
“Sorry, Maggie,” he replied, his voice shaking slightly. He picked up the cup.
Without another word, he pulled out a small velvet box. The sight of the diamond ring nestled within seemed to hold the station at a standstill. He asked, “Maggie, will you marry me?”
A gasp sounded through the crowd, and time seemed to stand still.
“Yes!” She put her arms around him. The cheers of the crowd were drowned out by the rush of love that moved over them.
Spatial Relations: Object and Character Placement in Your Scene
Your scene likely involves more than just characters. Objects, whether they’re items the characters are using or features of the setting, add depth and realism to your scene. In the fourth revision, pay attention to where these objects are placed in relation to each other and the characters. Are your characters sitting around a table, walking down a street, or navigating a crowded marketplace? Use language that helps your readers visualize the spatial dynamics of the scene.
Here is a revision of the sample scene that applies spatial relations to the scene:
Revision:
John stood in the heart of the bustling Grand Central Station, the vaulted ceilings soaring above him. Around him, people were rushing to their destinations, and a man in a well-tailored suit bumped into John’s shoulder, making him almost spill his hot coffee.
Suddenly, the chime of the station’s old clock tower rang out, marking the arrival of the 12:15 train. He turned his gaze towards the passengers disembarking from the dull black train.
His breath caught when he found her—a woman draped in a striking red trench coat that set her apart from the sea of monochromatic attire. Her dark hair was pulled back into a neat bun, revealing the sharp cut of her cheekbones.
“Maggie!” he called out, waving his hand high above his head. He saw her head turn in his direction. But as he waved, his grip slipped, sending the coffee cup tumbling onto the white marble floor. People stopped to avoid the spilled coffee.
“Oh, John, always the klutz,” Maggie said, laughing as she approached. The crowd that had momentarily paused resumed their rush.
“Sorry, Maggie,” he replied, his voice shaking slightly. Bending down, he picked up the cup, then turned to face her.
Without another word, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. The sight of the diamond ring nestled within seemed to hold the station at a standstill. He asked, “Maggie, will you marry me?”
A gasp sounded through the crowd, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
“Yes!” She put her arms around him. The cheers of the crowd were drowned out by the rush of love that moved over them.
Silent Conversations: Utilizing Individualized Gestures
Characters express themselves not only through dialogue but also through their actions and gestures. Individualized gestures can reveal a lot about a character’s personality, emotional state, and relationships with others. Think about how your character might react in the given situation—do they nervously twist a ring on their finger or confidently make eye contact with everyone in the room? These details can make your characters feel more real and relatable.
Here is a revision of the sample scene that expands on the characters’ actions and gestures:
Revision:
John stood in the heart of the bustling Grand Central Station, the vaulted ceilings soaring above him. Around him, people were rushing to their destinations, and a man in a well-tailored suit bumped into John’s shoulder, making him almost spill his hot coffee.
John paced back and forth while watching for the train’s arrival. Suddenly, the chime of the station’s old clock tower rang out, marking the arrival of the 12:15 train. He turned his gaze towards the passengers disembarking from the dull black train, and his heart pounded.
His breath caught when he found her—a woman draped in a striking red trench coat that set her apart from the sea of monochromatic attire. Her dark hair was pulled back into a neat bun, revealing the sharp cut of her cheekbones.
“Maggie!” he called out, waving his hand high above his head. He saw her head turn in his direction. But as he waved, his grip slipped, sending the coffee cup tumbling onto the white marble floor. People stopped to avoid the spilled coffee.
“Oh, John, always the klutz,” Maggie said, laughing as she approached. The crowd that had momentarily paused resumed their rush.
“Sorry, Maggie,” he replied, his voice shaking slightly. His heart was thumping in his ears. Bending down, he picked up the cup, then turned to face her. His hands shook so much that he dropped the cup back into the spilled coffee, splattering it over his trousers.
With his face growing hot, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. The sight of the diamond ring nestled within seemed to hold the station at a standstill. He asked, “Maggie, will you marry me?”
A gasp sounded through the crowd, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
“Yes!” She put her arms around him. The cheers of the crowd were drowned out by the rush of love that moved over them.
The Power of Action: Choosing Strong Verbs
Verbs are the engines of your sentences. They convey action, emotion, and interaction. Using precise and impactful verbs can add energy to your writing and draw the reader into the scene. Instead of using a weak verb with an adverb, try to find a strong verb that captures the action exactly. For example, instead of writing “he walked slowly,” you could use “he strolled” or “he ambled.”
Here is a revision of the sample scene that replaces weak verbs with strong ones:
Revision:
John stood in the heart of the bustling Grand Central Station, the vaulted ceilings soaring above him. Around him, people were rushing to their destinations, and a man in a well-tailored suit bumped into John’s shoulder, making him almost spill his hot coffee.
John paced back and forth while watching for the train’s arrival. Suddenly, the chime of the station’s old clock tower rang out, marking the arrival of the 12:15 train. He turned his gaze towards the passengers disembarking from the dull black train, and his heart pounded.
His breath hitched when he spotted her—a woman draped in a striking red trench coat that set her apart from the sea of monochromatic attire. Her dark hair was pulled back into a neat bun, revealing the sharp cut of her cheekbones.
“Maggie!” he called out, waving his hand high above his head. He saw her head turn in his direction. But as he beckoned, his grip slipped, sending the coffee cup tumbling onto the white marble floor. People stopped to avoid the spilled coffee.
“Oh, John, always the klutz,” Maggie said, laughing as she approached. The crowd that had momentarily paused resumed their rush.
“Sorry, Maggie,” he replied, his voice quivering. His heart was thumping in his ears. Bending down, he picked up the cup, then turned to face her. His hands shook so much that he dropped the cup back into the spilled coffee, splattering it over his trousers.
With his face growing hot, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. The sight of the diamond ring nestled within seemed to hold the station at a standstill. He asked, “Maggie, will you marry me?”
A gasp rippled through the crowd, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
“Yes!” She flung her arms around him. The cheers of the crowd were drowned out by the rush of love that washed over them.
Engage the Senses: Multi-sensory Descriptions
To create a truly immersive experience, engage all five senses—sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Describe the golden hue of the sunrise, the morning birds’ song, the fresh coffee aroma, the taste of a breakfast pastry, or the feel of the morning paper. Drawing on the full range of sensory experiences can make your scenes feel more vivid and real.
Here is a revision of the sample scene that adds a couple of senses:
Revision:
John stood in the heart of the bustling Grand Central Station, the vaulted ceilings soaring above him while the constant hum of the arriving and departing trains echoed in his ears. Around him, people were rushing to their destinations, and a man in a well-tailored suit bumped into John’s shoulder, making him almost spill his hot coffee.
John paced back and forth while watching for the train’s arrival. Suddenly, the chime of the station’s old clock tower rang out, drowning out the chaotic symphony around him and marking the arrival of the 12:15 train. He turned his gaze towards the passengers disembarking from the dull black train, and his heart pounded.
His breath hitched when he spotted her—a woman draped in a striking red trench coat that set her apart from the sea of monochromatic attire. Her dark hair was pulled back into a neat bun, revealing the sharp cut of her cheekbones.
“Maggie!” he called out, waving his hand high above his head. The warmth of his coffee cup was reassuring against the chill of his palm. He saw her head turn in his direction. But as he beckoned, his grip slipped, sending the coffee cup tumbling onto the white marble floor. People stopped to avoid the spilled coffee.
“Oh, John, always the klutz,” Maggie said, laughing as she approached. The crowd that had momentarily paused resumed their rush.
The faint scent of her vanilla perfume filled his senses.
“Sorry, Maggie,” he replied, his voice quivering. His heart was thumping in his ears. Bending down, he picked up the cup, then turned to face her. His hands shook so much that he dropped the cup back into the spilled coffee, splattering it over his trousers.
With his face growing hot, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. The sight of the diamond ring nestled within seemed to hold the station at a standstill. His voice echoed through the grand station as he asked, “Maggie, will you marry me?”
A gasp rippled through the crowd, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
“Yes!” She flung her arms around him. The cheers of the crowd, echoing in the grand arches, were drowned out by the rush of love that washed over them.
Through the Protagonist’s Lens: Analyze Other Characters
A scene doesn’t exist in a vacuum—it’s perceived through the lens of your viewpoint character. Use their perspective to shape the reader’s understanding of other characters and the relationships between them. How your protagonist perceives and interacts with other characters can reveal a lot about those characters.
Here is a revision of the sample scene that shares John’s perception of other characters:
Revision:
John stood in the heart of the bustling Grand Central Station, the vaulted ceilings soaring above him while the constant hum of the arriving and departing trains echoed in his ears. Around him, people were rushing to their destinations, and a man in a well-tailored suit bumped into John’s shoulder, making him almost spill his hot coffee.
John paced back and forth while watching for the train’s arrival. Suddenly, the chime of the station’s old clock tower rang out, drowning out the chaotic symphony around him and marking the arrival of the 12:15 train. He turned his gaze towards the passengers disembarking from the dull black train, and his heart pounded.
His breath hitched when he spotted her—a woman draped in a striking red trench coat that set her apart from the sea of monochromatic attire. Her dark hair was pulled back into a neat bun, revealing the sharp cut of her cheekbones.
“Maggie!” he called out, waving his hand high above his head. The warmth of his coffee cup was reassuring against the chill of his palm. He saw her head turn in his direction, a bright smile blooming on her face. But as he beckoned, his grip slipped, sending the coffee cup tumbling onto the white marble floor. People stopped to avoid the spilled coffee.
“Oh, John, always the klutz,” Maggie said, laughing as she approached. The crowd that had momentarily paused resumed their rush, the incident forgotten amidst their urgencies.
The faint scent of her vanilla perfume filled his senses.
“Sorry, Maggie,” he replied, his voice quivering. His heart was thumping in his ears. Bending down, he picked up the cup, then turned to face her. His hands shook so much that he dropped the cup back into the spilled coffee, splattering it over his trousers.
With his face growing hot, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. The sight of the diamond ring nestled within seemed to hold the station at a standstill. His voice echoed through the grand station as he asked, “Maggie, will you marry me?”
A gasp rippled through the crowd, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
Her eyes filled with tears, and she nodded. “Yes!” She flung her arms around him. The cheers of the crowd, echoing in the grand arches, were drowned out by the rush of love that washed over them, filling their world with pure, shared joy.
Driving the Scene: Incorporating the Protagonist’s Mindset and Motivation
Your protagonist’s mindset and motivations are the driving forces behind their actions and reactions. Make sure these elements are clear in your scene. If your protagonist tries to solve a mystery, show their analytical mind at work. If they’re motivated to protect their loved ones, let this influence their decisions and actions. You can create a richer, more engaging narrative by weaving the protagonist’s mindset and motivations into the scene.
Here is a revision of the sample scene that adds John’s mindset and motivation:
Revision:
John stood in the heart of the bustling Grand Central Station, the vaulted ceilings soaring above him while the constant hum of the arriving and departing trains echoed in his ears. Around him, people were rushing to their destinations, and a man in a well-tailored suit bumped into John’s shoulder, making him almost spill his hot coffee.
John paced back and forth while watching for the train’s arrival. Suddenly, the chime of the station’s old clock tower rang out, drowning out the chaotic symphony around him and marking the arrival of the 12:15 train. He turned his gaze towards the passengers disembarking from the dull black train, and his heart pounded.
His breath hitched when he spotted her—a woman draped in a striking red trench coat that set her apart from the sea of monochromatic attire. Her dark hair was pulled back into a neat bun, revealing the sharp cut of her cheekbones.
“Maggie!” he called out, waving his hand high above his head. The warmth of his coffee cup was reassuring against the chill of his palm. He saw her head turn in his direction, a bright smile blooming on her face. But as he beckoned, his grip slipped, sending the coffee cup tumbling onto the white marble floor. People stopped to avoid the spilled coffee.
“Oh, John, always the klutz,” Maggie said, laughing as she approached. The crowd that had momentarily paused resumed their rush, the incident forgotten amidst their urgencies.
The faint scent of her vanilla perfume filled his senses, transporting him back to their first encounter in a cozy bookstore on a rainy day.
“Sorry, Maggie,” he replied, his voice quivering. His heart was thumping in his ears—he needed to execute his plan, regardless of the minor setback. Bending down, he picked up the cup, then turned to face her. His hands shook so much that he dropped the cup back into the spilled coffee, splattering it over his trousers.
With his face growing hot, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. The sight of the diamond ring nestled within seemed to hold the station at a standstill. His voice echoed through the grand station as he asked, “Maggie, will you marry me?”
A gasp rippled through the crowd, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still.
Her eyes filled with tears, and she nodded. “Yes!” She flung her arms around him, their embrace becoming the only reality in the grandeur of Grand Central Station. The cheers of the crowd, echoing in the grand arches, were drowned out by the rush of love that washed over them, filling their world with pure, shared joy.
Writing Clear Descriptions in Novels Take Time
Remember, it’s important to note that clear, compelling scene writing doesn’t happen in a single draft. It requires thoughtful revisions. These steps for writing clear descriptions in novels are not meant to be strictly sequential or exhaustive but rather a roadmap to guide you in writing clear descriptions.
